Destiny are written by ourselves

I was not born as a soldier. I grew up listen to others stories of their experiences. Their hardships. Even my grandpa is a service man. He was in the police force and well-known as Sjn. Misai by his comrades. Due to having a long sharp mustache. My dad also loves the military although he never got the chance to be in the service. He once selected to go to the RMC, but turned down due to medical check-up failure. Instead, he told me the time he was selected and that inspired me to continue his dream. He waited almost 20 years to send one of his sons to the college and I guess it's my luck. Perhaps my rezeki. Alhamdulillah.

There I was exposed to the hard life as a soldier. Our rank is lower that a private. More or less a boy recruit. Damn, that's really hard life. I can't imagine the first moment I stepped into the college, I knew my life is changing. Changing to a greater life. Being a partial soldier status but live in 24/7 camp environment. A real soldier life and trained to be gentlemen. A leader to all. An officer in the armed forces. A leader in corporate sector and even sports. In the year 2007, I graduated from the college as an Old Putera (OP).

Then, I pursued my study at UiTM Sarawak. At first I would like to avoid to join any uniform bodies organization. But, fate has its own way to tell us. I saw the Air Force ROTU booth. They told us that we are given free college during our study at the campus (LIES...). I got interested to the offer and sweet talk. Next thing I know, I signed up for the service. For 3 years, I realized I can't run from my military heritage that has matured inside me. Finally, I was commissioned as a 2nd Lieutenant in the RMAF Voluteer Reserve. Wow, an Air Force officer. Now I have fulfilled one of the college aims. Be an officer in the armed forces. And, what is the use of being an Air Force officer if you can't even fly a plane. Perhaps for the reserve force there are limited exposure and chances. Perhaps a private pilot license. Be like John Travolta, whom fly to work and park the jet in his plane porch. Insyaallah, I'll get my license. If it is not for my spectacles, I would have sign up for the Air Force College and be a fighter pilot. But, destiny has not been written. I still can have my chance and be a pilot, in my own way.

Destiny has its own plan for me. Since young I'm interested in the arts and architecture. Just I don't know where to start and how to learn it. Now, the chances are opened wide to me. Dad told me to go for Interior Design. Well, that's a good start although my heart longs to study in the architecture field. Maybe after I completed my degree. Deep in my heart, I knew the moment I was born into this world, Dad has planned everything for us,  including our names as the pray from both of my parents. A master builder. A palace builder.

From that moment, I knew I have a long road ahead of me. I need to make my parents proud of my achievement. My life is their investment and I want to be a good asset to them. A good son. A good leader of my generations. A terrific pilot. A well-known designer. Last but not least, a great builder. I want to serve both the civilian and armed forces. I know when the country is need of my service, I won't hesitate to go for it. Reasons for all of it, it's easy, I want to Serve to Lead and lead by giving inspiration to others. It symbolized hope. Hope for others to follow my footsteps as I has followed the previous leaders before me. That is how I define lead by examples.

It's in my blood and my name. Mohamad Amirin Arsyan Bin Mohamad Zainol. An admirable leader of the palace builder.

Leader, Designer, Builder & Soldier 

Jangkauan Aku

Apa erti sayang ? Apa erti kasihan ? Dan apa erti benci ?

Aku masih lagi keliru dengan diriku ini. Aku tidak mengerti apa yang aku rasakan. Adakah ini yang dinamakan sayang, atau kasihan, atau ianya adalah benci ? Begitu mudah aku jatuh cinta tetapi hikmah yang Maha Esa tetap menyuluh hati mengatakan itu bukanlah jodoh untukku. Aku berserah soal jodoh dan hati ini kepada yang Maha Esa.

Aku tidak ingin hilang tumpuan dan fokus terhadap tanggungjawabku. Aku telah dididik untuk menghormati orang dan hak mereka. Aku juga telah menanam niat untuk membantu sesiapa sahaja yang aku temui apabila memerlukan. Biarlah apa jua caranya, aku tetap memberikan yang terbaik, walaupun ia mengundang bencana pada diri ini. Aku tidak peduli tomahan dan cacian yang dilemparkan. Biarlah apa yang berlaku, aku tetap aku. Aku seorang yang degil namun tetap mendengar peendapat orang lain. Ini adalah diri aku yang sebenar.

Aku ingin menjadi seorang pemimpin. Pemimpin yang kaya dan mempunyai hak dan kekuatan. Aku juga ingin menjadi pemimpin yang penyabar. Pengalaman telah mematangkan diriku ini. Mengapa aku katakan pemimpin yang kaya, Aku ingin menjadi pemimpin yang kaya harta di dunia dan kaya ibadah di dunia dan akhirat. Dengan harta ku miliki, aku akan menolong mereka yang memerlukan kerana harta itu adalah hak bersama. Tidak ada yang kekal melainkan iman kepada Allah S.W.T.

Rakan,
'Hidup lama yang gemilang ... Hidup baru ape citer?'

Hidup lama memang gemilang. Namun biarlah aku semadikan sebagai kenangan seorang insan bergelar remaja meniti saat-saat muda. Aku harus berubah. Aku harus menjadi matang. Aku harus berdepan dengan kebenaran yang hakiki. Jangan biarkan diri dipengaruhi oleh rakan-rakan. Biarlah kita yang mempengaruhi pemikiran mereka. Aku ingin membawa mereka ke zaman gemilang. Zaman penuh keredhaan dan keamanan.

Inilah yang dikatakan sayang. Sayang kepada diri sendiri kerana dirimu umpama kain putih yang telah diconteng dengan arang dan harus dicuci dengan air yang bersih.

Kasihan, aku melihat rakan-rakan yang leka dan melupakan dunia sendiri apabila masuk ke alam hitam. Alam yang aku ingin lupakan. Aku pernah merasa semuanya. Namun aku tidak berbangga. Kerana setiap ceruk ku lalui aku menemui saudaraku. Aku ingin membawa mereka keluar namun aku belum berkuasa. Aku belum mampu. Di situlah kekayaan memainkan peranan walaupun hanya sedikit tetapi ia mampu mengubah segalanya. 

Aku benci melihat mereka gembira dengan menjatuhkan maruah sendiri. Terutama puteri-puteri yang aku anggap rakan-rakanku. Bagaimanakah mereka sanggup memperjudikan nasib kepada para buaya daratan. Aku ingin membawa mereka keluar. Buaya-buaya itu akan ku jadikan rakan-rakanku. Biar aku mempengaruhi pemikiran mereka.

Aku mempunyai perasaan. Perasaan ingin mengubah segalanya yang tidak sepatutnya. Aku akan berjaya.

Aku telah berjanji pada diriku untuk memimpin mereka ke zaman gemilang. Insyaallah akan akuu tunaikan. Aku ingin membina singgahsana yang mampu untuk aku ketuai demi mendapatkan keredhaan. Aku harus bertindak kerana ia adalah sebahagian daripada tanggungjawabku kepada mereka. Siapakah mereka ? Tepuk dada tanya selera.

Aku mempersiapkan diriku sejak dari awal lagi. Aku mempunyai visi untuk melihat keamanan dunia.

Aku tidak dapat leka. Aku harus tunaikan tanggungjawabku dahulu. Aku mampu mengubahnya.

Di sebalik apa yang aku sampaikan, terlalu mudah ditolak. Tidak mengapa, mereka akan menerimanya juga nanti. Aku mengimpikan untuk Menjangkau Globalisasi. Dua patah perkataan yang penuh makna. Lihat diri sendiri dan nilailah jangkauan anda.

Theory of Design

My life ... *sigh* ... Wake up in the morning and stay up at night.
Life as a designer requires sacrifice and determination. I got to work smart on my project. Don't lose your focus. That's all that matters. Keep your head in the game.

Theory of Design ... From freedom to constrain ...

Faith & Trust

We are who we are. None can change it. Even if they tried, we are still the same person from before until now. Have faith in self. Have trust in others. Trust their judgement. Although some of the judgement is not relevant, but that is how mutual understanding is achieved. Trust have to be earn. It can't be obtain by demand. We command them.

Let people put their trust on us. The same goes to us. We must sincerely place our faith and trust to other's judgement. If not, what is the point  for appointing them if we can't accept their decision ?

People change but they heart stays the same. As we go on, we remember the times that we had together with others. That is our last change from whatever but we will still be ourselves forever. Don't loose that faith. We learn about ourselves and the our heart. Never think about loosing. It consume our faith and trust that others have placed on us.

Road ahead is tough. With faith and trust it binds who ever we are. It show us the path towards our destination. Somehow, we forgot who we are. We let people shape us and apart us from our self. Be firm. Nonetheless, faith is something that we believe in and we put our trust on our faith.

Apologizing & Listen

Apologizing. A simple act of honesty. It doesn't always mean you are wrong and the other person is right. It just means you value your friendship than your ego. Friendship is bond of mutual understanding.

A : I'm sorry.
B : Go away ... You sucks !
A : I truly am. My bad, my mistake. Sorry again.
B : Liar ...
A : Ok then.
B : I have a problem.
A : What is it?
B : I can't go to the prom night.
A : Oh, tell me about it.
B : If u insist.... Bla3...
A : You should be fine. Have no worries .. Be happy

We have to be a good listener. Man from Mars. A friend shared us his / her problems. Actually they have the solution. We often misinterpret their feelings. They just want us to hear it out. Not to solve it as they already have the solutions. Men often did it. As a man, we have to be gentleman. We must insist on hearing a woman's expression. We should understand them. Be a good listener to be a good man.

Miss the moments

The only MDS that I joined as a student representative council members. Had lots of fun and unforgettable moments with these peoples.

Credits to the Technical Crew ... Azureen, Jan, Eeya, Effa, Sir Awang, Bel, Kevin, Hafiz, Wani & Jaja ...

'Let him inspire us'

The title Wira Negara seems easy to obtained nowadays. Be a civilian press in a war zone and then get killed. Thus, the government deemed you as a national hero. What if, the soldier died instead of the cameraman? Would he get the media coverage such as the cameraman? Come to think of it, perhaps one in a thousand chance.

Like recently, the issue with the civilian cameraman. Why is he in that war zone? Does he have any basic warfare survival training? The highlights on his death seems overwhelming from all the mass media. He has been deemed as a national hero for joining the humanitarian aid at Somalia. I agreed for his good intention, but he is not to be blame for his death. Yes, the media deemed him to be national hero, but to think of it, there many good soldiers died countless at the Somalia war zone. Our soldiers. Do they receive the same salutation?

They are many officers, but few good officers.

In positive feedback, we should see the political aspect of the cameraman's death. Our political parties should be minimal in their campaigns. We can't afford to have another Somalia war zone in our own country due to political instability. The peace we obtained cannot be kept by force, it must be kept through understanding one another. The pacifism is the key for peace and stability.

Mutual understanding. Yes, in a good way, his death open our eyes to the war-thorn country such as Somalia. The fight for power really affect our peace and harmony. He did inspire us spiritually.

P/S: Basic warfare survival is a must to cover for war zone updates to avoid unnecessary casualties.

Tell your heart what you really want

Be honest & true to self. That's the main thing for us to remember. You can't force yourself to accept things beyond your control. Otherwise, it would be out of control.

Heart, a part of the body. The emotions expressed by the heart reflect our desires. Desires to have things that we don't want. Consumed by fear, hatred, anger and lust lead us to darken our pure heart.

Heart, express feelings. Feelings of love, happy, respect and humble to self and others. How can we be sure of these feelings? Ask yourself, you will find the answer. The answers may not be spontaneous, it takes time for us to find it. A life changing experience differs from each person to another.

We want something that we can't have. Something that desire so much, but if we get over the limits, the consequences are not worth it. Many great man falls due to lust and desires beyond limitation. This happened to the military and politics. That's why there are many men, but few good man.

RIP Anthony Dunggat Lagan

A tribute to my dear friend, squad-mate and a good man to all.

Rest in Peace dear friend, Anthony Dunggat Lagan.

I have known him since July 2008 till the day he passed away leaving us all on 27th August 2011. He's my squad, a good friend and never leave us all when in need. He smiles a lot. A good supporter to all. One thing for sure, a friend to everyone ...

You left us to early my friend, too young to die ... but that was His Almighty will. He loves you more than us. I'll never forget your advice and our friendship. Friends come and go, but our friendship stays forever.

The Anthony or better known as Antuu to us all, is a happy-go-lucky guy. You cheered us up bro !

We'll cherish you in our memories forever. Thanks for the memory Antuu ...

Your squad,

ROTU Intake 5/2008 (Barc 5)

Either Yes or No

Last Tuesday, I found out the Yayasan Sarawak has started conducting interviews for the Tunku Abdul Rahman Scholarships. I'm shocked to hear about it. So, I took my chance and went to the YS office itself. I asked them regarding my application and guess what, they said that they have immediately put aside my forms, just because my program is not in the list.

Heck, WTF !!! I've went through all the trouble to see the UiTM Sarawak Rector and he himself told me to make an appeal for the scholarship. And he willingly to help to get my forms checked for the eligibility and filtered equally as the rest of the applicants. It turned out the other way around. The mindset of higher level officers and way much different than those below him. Experienced person tend to help, but the younger ones willing to make things ease for their works.

Then, on Thursday. I went to see the Rector again. He's shocked to find out I'm not there for the interview. He told me he has sent his copy of my application the YS Director. Am I being sabotaged ? Positively, perhaps they misplaced my forms. Duh..!!!! Like that is gonna happen.

Now, I wonder... What happened to the system? All I want is a chance for the interview. Not a direct offer for the scholarship. Everyone deserves a chance. The system that we were using nowadays seem to be less transparency and more on provocation. The system clearly needs to be reorganize.

Chance, that is all that I want. How can you judge people if you don't even give them chance ?

Alhamdulillah, the Rector has willingly to help to set things right. Guess, people upbringing really did reflects their action. I was to standby for the next interview.

Insyaallah, I'll do my best !!!

Budak Boys quote, " tidak ada yang tidak dapat, tidak ada yang tidak boleh, tidak ada yang tiada"

Lesson learned, when we want something, we have to work smart for it. Not work hard. When asked to the higher ups, the only answers are either Yes or No. If Yes, then it's your lucky day. If No, try again next time. Don't forget to smile :)

Kungfu Panda

Kungfu Panda. I've seen both of the movies The best animation on kungfu ever !!! Now this is the real hero of ancient China.

Loves all the butt kicking and punching action by the adorable panda. I rated it as a 5-star movie.

Go big fat panda ! You rock dude !!!

Malaysian politics

Come to think of it, our country politics are very dangerous indeed. Generally, the federal politics. But, our very own state politics are much more dangerous than the federal. Changes are needed nowadays.

Nevertheless, we can't simply change drastically.

Paint job

2nd week of Ramadhan, I started my paint job at dad's new office. Fuhhhh........ what a tiring job !!!

Perhaps being a contractor is not easy as it seems. Learn from experiences and I do start from zero to hero. Hahaha ...

Soon, I'll be flying to Shah Alam to pursue my bachelor in interior architecture. I'm going to be an architect. 4 years more to go. But, I think I'm gonna like it better being a consultant than a contractor. Well, I do have both backgrounds. An architect with both design & build experiences.

Paint, colors, mood, behavior ... It all related to one another. It creates environment. It develops personality. Try purple & black. It sure scares and cheer you up !!!

But for right now, I'm gonna rest and continue my paint job tomorrow ! Rest in Peace ...

Boys will always be Boys

Boys will always be Boys. The same and repeated quote heard from the officers and staffs. Guess I can't really let go of the past. But deep down I'm proud of it. Proud that there are still people have faith in the Boys. Budak Boys ... the rascals that can change the perspective of all walks of life. Perhaps I shall live up to it.

Boys are groom to be gentleman. Am I ??? Hurm, maybe few more years to come ... still learning to become one. Hard to throw away the very thing that made differences in our life. For me, the moments that I had in RMC. It taught me the meaning of comradeship, friendship and leadership.

That doesn't mean I'm still living in the past. It's just how I use the past to overcome the future challenges. It reminds me of survival-ability. Boys can survive anyway. Believe it !

Wow !!!

Wow...how i have grown up !

Have faith, have hope...

We must be firm in facing the consequences of our action. Have faith, have hope. Pray that everything will come to an end. But with a happy one. We can't loose our faith in times when we really need them.

Have hope, don't loose it. Otherwise, hope won't be coming back to you. Lesson learned; Allah the Almighty is fair. He wouldn't turn back on us unless we did it ourselves.